Pain, prayers, and peace

I'll be signing off for the Holidays, at least until after Christmas. Before I go, I'd like to say Merry Christmas to my friends, the ones I've met, and the ones I haven't.

It isn't easy to have trigeminal or glossopharyngeal neuralgia and have peace. The pain threatens to steal our lives. Sometimes it feels as though our sanity will be the next thing to go. When I was suffering, I found peace in Jesus Christ. His peace was present in the midst of the most terrible pain. I prayed, finding solace in Him. I grew to understand I wasn't alone in my suffering.

If you are experiencing facial pain, I'd like to encourage you to tap into your faith. Take a chance. Dare to believe that Jesus is real and that He cares about you. Take s step of faith and trust that your health will improve.

I can't think of anyone who needs the thrill of hope more than someone who has trigeminal or glossopharyngeal neuralgia. My prayer is that you will be full of peace this Christmas.

 O Holy Night

O holy night, the stars are brightly shining;
It is the night of the dear Savior's birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope, the weary soul rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices.

O night divine, O night when Christ was born.

O night, O holy night, O night divine!

 

 

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Memorializing Cherry

A week ago, my friend Cherry died. She had been ill for a few weeks, but she seemed to be getting better. Then she suddenly died. My mother knew Cherry since they were in elementary school.

Cherry lifted me up and supported me while trigeminal neuralgia seemed to be winning in a war it had launched against me. Although she had not experienced facial pain, she never doubted the intensity of my suffering. There were times when she put her needs on hold to stop and pray for me. One day when my speech was painful and distorted, someone laughed at me. Cherry spoke up because it made her angry. She was the type of friend who could be counted on in times of trouble.

Cherry was a blossom who didn't fade but continually bloomed. I'll always miss her.

Years ago, I wasn't able to go to funerals or stand outside because of having trigeminal neuralgia. Monday I was able to do both, celebrating her life and acknowledging Cherry's passing. Although I am relieved that she is no longer having pain and is with the Lord, I will always miss her.

At the cemetery, the wicked wind chilled the mourners. It slapped my face, reminding me of the electrocution-type pains it would have caused me years ago. I thank the Lord for the opportunity to live a "normal" life again.

Thank you, Cherry, for your prayers, your love, and your laughter.

Celebrating six years

Six years ago yesterday, I had my last electrocution-type pain from trigeminal neuralgia (TN). I thank God for His mercy.

Sometimes the pain from trigeminal neuralgia made it difficult to believe that I could be well again. Some people might call the past six years remission, but I call it a miracle. I was in terrible pain, had been for quite a while, when a group of people gathered around me to pray. The pain left, and it never returned.

As the prayer began, a passage from Psalm 91 was read:

 ¹He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. ²I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.  ³Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.  ⁴He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler. ⁵Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day. 
My prayers were answered. The trigeminal neuralgia pain stopped. Some people call it remission, but I know that it is a miracle.


About four years ago, I began to have a different type of facial pain. I knew right away it wasn't TN, but diagnosis was difficult. It is caused by my jaw.  I have faith that I will continue to live a life that is free from fear and filled with freedom. I can face the wind, sit under a ceiling fan or an air conditioner vent, and brush my teeth. I can read because my eye no longer hurts. I can talk and smile. And I pray.
May I say a prayer for you? If so, please leave a comment or email me. God bless you.

 Have you visited my website? withgreatmercy

Another about face

A couple of weeks ago, I wondered why the blemishes on my forehead, chin, nose, and cheek had not gone away. After all, I'm fifty-something and should be past this stage. I didn't question why I had broken out, considering the amount of stress caused by family illnesses lately. (Plus, I'm having stress caused by a jaw problem, but I'll discuss that in a future entry.) And we've had a Florida summer, hot and humid.

I took a good look at the skin eruptions in the magnifying mirror, and I decided it needed to be checked. It looked a little like a bubble. Years ago, a similar bubble on my face had been basal cell carcinoma, something I discuss in With Great Mercy.  A couple of days after discovering the blemish, my husband took me to see my dermatologist in Jacksonville.

With a quick glance, my physician diagnosed Rosacea. What? Shouldn't this have occurred when I was younger? Why isn't my face red? The doctor explained that it often shows up in middle age, doesn't necessarily cause redness, and that my mild case could be easily treated. Thankful that the situation was benign and my outbreak in early stages, I took a sample of Finacea and the accompanying literature he offered me. The pamphlet listed some of Rosacea's triggers. Stress is one. Hot, humid weather is another cause. The information given by the makers of Finacea advises people who have the skin irritation to stay away from hot baths, hot tubs, and saunas.

There goes one of my stress relievers, my big tub with jets. Isn't it amazing, how the very things that help us can also harm us?

After using the product a couple of weeks, I've noticed quite an improvement. Being a rehabilitation counselor, I like to read the fine print to see the contraindications. But this time I didn't. I've stayed in the "patient zone" and out of the advocate's area. I really wanted to give the medication a chance. Now that the outbreak is clearing, I'm hoping to be brave enough to read the fine print. The fine print can be like a commercial for a medication, one whose side-effects can frighten a person out of trying it.



After having experienced the pain of trigeminal neuralgia and a terrible jaw issue, I'm thankful the diagnosis wasn't something that required a complex decision. If you would like more information on Rosacea, the Mayo Clinic has some good information.

Every day I say a prayer for people who have facial pain. God bless you on your path to healing.

Have you visited my website? With Great Mercy

Trigeminal neuralgia: the Valley of the Shadow

Many of us have heard, read, or prayed the 23rd Psalm. The passage is often comforting to people who are struggling with pain or illness. Here's the part I like best, from verse four:  

  

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me.

When I experienced the electrifying pain of trigeminal neuralgia, I prayed to die. And this portion of the verse had new meaning for me. I was in the shadow of death, I reasoned, because I wanted to die. Yet the pain held no sting of death, and I felt trapped. I was alive but could not live with the pain. It was the darkest valley I've known.

The "shadow of death" lurked while I wanted to die and could not.


It's not unusual for people who have trigeminal neuralgia to think about dying. They want relief from the pain, a pain so overwhelming it doesn't seem that another second of it can be tolerated. I lived in fear, fear of the pain.

People who have not experienced trigeminal neuralgia often notice that someone who has TN is depressed. Sometimes onlookers think the depression has caused the pain, but people who have TN know differently. It's the pain and the hopelessness that causes the sorrow.


Let's examine the second part of the quotation. I will fear no evil. It takes guts to have such tremendous pain, to stare it in the face and refuse to fear it. But we can do it. For thou art with me. We don't walk through our valleys alone, and in this we have our hope.

We cannot get better without hope, and if we are afraid, hope eludes us. Let's believe. Together and with the hope of our Lord, we can face fear and cling to hope.

Have you experienced fear or depression along with your pain? I'd love to hear from you.

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Hospital Zone, respite, and answered prayers

In the past week, my Mom has needed emergency care twice. Yesterday my daughter had major surgery, and she had a procedure that lasted several hours. I hugged her at 10:30 a.m. and did not get to see her again until about 5:00 pm.. Last night, I slept in a chair in her hospital room.

Today I came back home ( a 1.5 hour drive) only to learn that my Mother needed to go back to the same area I just left so she could get treatment for her own emergent medical situation. Because I had very little sleep last night, I called my uncle, and took my mom back part of the way, not far from his home. He took my mom to the opthamologist, and I came back home to rest. Although I offered to pick my mother back up at his house, my uncle gladly brought her back home after her treatment was accomplished.

The good news is that both my Mom and daughter will both be fine, and I appreciate everyone's prayers. I'll be blogging about trigeminal neuralgia and facial pain soon but I'm going to take a couple of days to get some rest. A caretaker's stress can be high, and I remember the days when people took care of me. I'm glad I have a chance to give back a little caregiving in return.

We all have limits, and it's important to recognize them. Today I knew I was not the best candidate to take my Mom for treatment. It's not easy to let go, but one person cannot carry all the weight. If you are caring for someone who has trigeminal neuralgia or an extended illness, get support for yourself. You will need a respite, a chance to rest or take care of yourself. Emergent situations shouldn't overlap, but sometimes they do.

Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers. A big shout of thanks I give to my friend who put me up for then night preceding my daughter's surgery. As Claire Patterson, the founder of the Trigeminal Neuraglia Association has been known to say: only the nicest people have facial pain. It's not a direct quote, but she's right.