Until mid-February, some time had passed since I received an email from someone who has read With Great Mercy, someone I don’t know. As readers, we have no way of knowing what is happening in the lives of writers. It is always good to know that we have helped, inspired, or entertained someone, depending on the nature of our subject. Although I have been writing fiction for a while, I still blog about cranial nerve disorders now and then. I stopped suddenly when I realized someone was stealing posts from my blog and refused to stop. My new website has gained some internet attention, so I will post new material on occasion.

This week, I had a grueling dental situation. Anyone who has ever had trigeminal neuralgia, glossopharyngeal neuralgia, geniculate neuralgia, or a horrible case of temporomandibular joint dysfunction, knows that almost anything to do with teeth is frightening. Monday morning a crown fell out of my mouth. It looked weird, and the reason I have this crown is part of my long and harrowing story experience with cranial nerve disorders and dental trauma. Because of my history, I continued to go back to Florida for dental work, after moving to Texas three years ago. I haven’t had cranial nerve pain in years, but I still have an awareness that one must see an excellent dentist to maintain healthy cranial nerves. When Covid-19 hit, the luxury of going to my dentist in Florida no longer existed. My attempt to go to a highly recommended dentist in Cedar Park turned out to be unsuccessful and extremely stressful. Mom stepped in, from Florida, locating a dentist in Austin, Texas, who treat people who have had dental trauma. I took the leap of faith, and I now see Dr. Lina Clendennen in Austin. She is gentle, informed, and patient. She listens. So does the entire staff at Dr. B.J. Meyer’s practice. From Monday through Thursday, I was a bundle of nerves. I prayed, rested, cooked, read, and tried to stay busy, but the uneasiness never left me. Yesterday I had some dental repair work and received a new crown. Although the appointment was lengthy, I left without soreness and had a good day. The day after, which can be tricky, and all is well. I am grateful for Dr. Clendennen’s wonderful ethics, great skills, and patience. We’re all human, presented with new challenges each day. When you read something life-affirming, reach out with an email or a blog comment. You don’t know what the person at the keyboard might be experiencing at that moment. We want to connect with you. That’s why we write. Thanks for every email. Every comment. Every book purchase. If you are out of work and would like a book, please let me know. Email me. Recent Posts Mother’s Day for ladies who have trigeminal neuralgia By faith, we wait Emails, dental work, you, and me Trigeminal neuralgia: How can I get them to understand? Social isolation: we aren’t alone anymore. © Kathy Maresca, 202

Why I abandoned blogging about facial pain

Although I have not posted a new entry to my blog in several years, I still hear from people who have recently found it. That news is always a double-edged sword. The entries have helped someone. I rejoice in that. One more person is suffering, though, and my heart breaks again.

On more than one occasion, someone has let me know that my entries have been stolen. I go to the site of the blog that has copied my experience verbatim. I contact the thief and receive no response. 

Plagiarism fails students. It ruins careers. But these nameless Internet entities get away with it.

I keep my blog free from advertisements. If I were to open the door to Google ads, a procedure I do not endorse might appear on the pages of my musings. Helping someone is more important than gaining a little bit of cash.

Privacy is another issue. I have kept links to my blog public on Facebook. I want people to be able to share them. Support is gained by sharing the universality of pain, the common denominator of knowing others have felt exactly as we feel. Although anyone can read my blog, it is intended for those who are suffering.

With trigeminal neuralgia awareness day approaching, helping others cope with facial pain is on my mind. I’ll be posting again soon.

One more thing: my last name has changed. I won't mention it here, but many of you know it. I remarried after finding a cherished friend of mine on Facebook.

Hold onto hope. Love is stronger than pain.

Glossopharyngeal neuralgia: symptoms

What does glossopharyngeal neuralgia feel like? I will tell you about my own experience.

My glossopharyngeal nerve sometimes causes stabs and jabs in my jaw. It can cause me to “jerk,” suddenly as though I have put my finger in a light socket. The pain sometimes expands to the tongue, and even a little bit of movement of it can trigger “electrocution” type pains. “Lightning bolts” strike through my ear, down my jaw and tongue, and into my throat. Swallowing is difficult and quite painful. When the pains hit my ear, I get extremely dizzy and can lose my balance.

The first time I experienced glossopharyngeal neuralgia, I thought I had a virus. My ear and throat burned, and they felt worse when I swallowed. I quickly made an appointment with my primary care physician, and he examined me.  The doctor was already aware of my battle with trigeminal neuralgia.

“Your throat and ear look good,” he said. Then he noted that the pain followed the course of my carotid artery. He diagnosed me with carotidynia.

Carotidynia? I wondered what could go wrong next. And as the hours passed, moving my head became more difficult and the pain in my neck became more severe. I lay in bed, thinking I might actually have meningitis. It made sense: an outbreak of it had recently occurred in the school where I taught.

Being confined to bed with an illness is an invitation for the mind to wander into the darkest of places. So many of us have experienced hopelessness. What I tell you next is not to frighten you or to be morbid. I ask you to find humor in it with me. I secretly welcomed meningitis. Maybe it will kill me, I thought. I will go to Heaven and finally be free of this pain.

I didn’t have meningitis, and in a few days I was back at work and feeling well. I told my teacher friends about my short-lived death wish, and we laughed. Later, my neurologist discussed the carotidynia diagnosis with me and explained that I actually had glossopharyngeal neuralgia.

Dwelling on bleak thoughts is easy but destructive. Finding hope is a challenge for people who have cranial nerve disorders. For me, hope is my faith in Jesus Christ. I will discuss the reality of glossopharyngeal neuralgia and my faith in a future entry. The Lord remains faithful, and it is well.  

How can I make them understand?

How can I get my spouse, coworker, boss, friends, or family to understand? This is one of the most common questions I hear regarding the nature of trigeminal and glossopharyngeal nerualgias. The answer, regardless of who asks it, is the same. You cannot make someone who has not contended with this type of pain to "get it."

You can, however, ask them to accept the reality of your situation. Before we discuss that, let us talk about why we should concentrate on their acceptance rather than their understanding.

We ask the people around us to have empathy for us, to put themselves in our shoes. I ask you to do the same. Remember when you had never heard of trigeminal or glossopharyngeal neuralgia? Such pain would have sounded incredulous, and indeed it is.

In all my conversations about these cranial nerve disorders (before, during, and after my working at TNA, the Facial Pain Association) I have never told anyone about my first exposure to facial pain. I was young, in my 20's. I was eating dinner at a friend's house, hanging out in the kitchen with another guest. She explained that she had a nerve in her face that caused her horrible pain when she...

I have to use an ellipsis in the previous sentence because I cannot remember what she said after that. Although she spoke with a calm demeanor, her message terrified me. I left the kitchen, telling myself that she must be crazy. I hoped she was. To believe she might be sane meant that this horrible thing could happen to anyone, even me. I refused to entertain the possibility. But now I ask myself how many people walked away from that perfectly nice woman, leaving her alone as I did.

When we ask someone to accept our situation, we are asking them to do something easier than to understand. We apply the formula from the movie What about Bob? Baby steps, baby steps. Let us discuss some of them.

Present the individual with a concise explanation of trigeminal or glossopharygeal neuralgia, depending on which disorder(s) you have. For people who have atypical or neuropathic facial pain, find the most definitive information you can. Be selective, using information that describes your symptoms. Do not give more than a full page of text to read. Allow them time to digest it. Then expose them to factual presentations of personal experience.

Find an audiovisual presentation. These are on YouTube and other sites, such as The Facial Pain Association's. Attend a webinar or support group meeting together. If possible, go to a conference hosted by TNA, the Facial Pain Association or a similar group.

Some people will refuse to accept the plight of an individual who has facial pain, even if they love the person who has the disorder. Hardheartedness is not something we can change in another person.

Counseling, if he or she will go, can open the door for acceptance. If you pursue this route, go alone first to ensure you have an empathic counselor who will research and accept your disability. Make sure he or she knows how to pronounce it. It can provide some validity for you.

Everyone who has facial pain needs an advocate. It does not have to be someone who understands, but it must be someone who accepts.

I would like to hear from you. Please tell us what helped someone accept or understand your pain.

God bless you.

Have you visited my website?

When a road ends

Trigeminal and glossopharyngeal neuralgias can obstruct love. Like most roadblocks, the obstacles present challenges for those trying to navigate around them.

If you are reading this, then you have probably experienced many of them: physical distress upon being kissed; feeling rejected because your partner does not understand the intensity of your pain; and having plain old bad breath because it hurts to brush your teeth. These are just a few effects of some cranial nerve disorders.

My marriage almost fell apart when I was ill. How frightening it was, the thought of losing my health insurance and the stress of enduring a divorce. There were times I wanted to buy an AirStream trailer and hit the road, an illogical notion because most of the time I was not able to drive. How desperately I wanted to escape.

My ex-husband did not leave me, never asked for a divorce. I thank God for sparing me from that situation. But my spouse withdrew, and I never got him back. Meanwhile, I changed and became much different from the woman he had recently married. The onset of trigeminal neuralgia came a mere two and half years after we said “I do.”

One thing I can honestly say is this: I feel certain the marriage would not have survived even if I had remained healthy. That is the most important thing I have to share with you.

Like anyone who experiences a divorce, I noticed that some of my friends disappeared into thin air. I was not surprised. Watching a marriage end, especially when one partner has a history of facial pain, can strike fear in the hearts of others who share the same disability. I understand this, and it is why I feel it may be beneficial to offer an explanation.

Illness does not destroy a marriage, just as roadblocks do not destroy a street. Sickness increases pre-existing marital stress.

On any extended road trip, detours are likely to occur. We may hit potholes as we try to find our way back to a more suitable route. As long as two people stay in the same vehicle, they stay on the same path. Staying together can be accomplished if they refuse to lose sight of each other.

Love is stronger than pain. I still believe it.

All I want for Christmas

At this time of year, it's not uncommon for someone to ask me about an appropriate present for an individual who has trigeminal neuralgia or another form of neuropathic facial pain.

You may want to purchase clothing that will help shield your friend or family member's face from the painful cold. If so, you can find some helpful products here.

I don't often endorse products, but I have discovered one that helps me with pain caused by TMJD and cervical issues.

Like many people who have trigeminal and glossopharyngeal neuralgias, I have struggled with finding a pillow. For quite a while, I had a rattan pillow that helped. You can learn more about it here.  I could not find a replacement. Without it, the agony escalated.  One night when I awakened from the pain, I turned on the television and saw informercial about "MyPillow."

I've bought useless things as a result of watching cleverly marketed products via informercials. Have you? Yet this advertisement spoke to my core, and I decided to give it a try.

The first pillow I ordered was a "red" pillow, and it was actually too "tall" for me. I didn't think this could happen because the lack of support for my cervical area seems to cause the problem. Even with this pillow that didn't "fit" me, I noticed that my jaw would open when I rested my head on it, solving the problem of clenching my teeth at night. I knew I was getting close to a solution.

I called the company, and they sent me a "green" pillow. It was too shallow. I sighed and called the company again, and they moved me to "blue," the size between red and green. What really impressed me is this: they told me not to give up because they will make custom size pillows for an individual. But the blue one works just fine. It gives me the support I need and alleviates the pain that crept in night after night. I've been using it several weeks.

Just as the pillow provides support, so does its inventor. I've been charged for postage and the pillows only once. The company told me that they understand that individuals might not order the right item the first time. They send prepaid return shipping boxes and labels, making it simple for someone in pain to feel better.

A good night's sleep is a wonderful gift.

You can learn more about the MyPillow here. Although I give this item my endorsement, I am not affiliated with the company in any way. I don't receive commission from any sale that results from my recommendation.


Merry Christmas and happy holidays.

Trigeminal neuralgia and the National Day of Prayer

When I was suffering with the "lightening strikes" of trigeminal neuralgia, I did a lot of praying as well as some bargaining with God. One of the things I promised Him was that I would be grateful forever if He would take the pain.

In my opinion, bargaining with God is ineffective. But when one is desperate, a variety of tactics are employed. I'm glad the Lord saw my faith and desperation and looked beyond my attempt to make a deal with Him.

Almost every day, I go to a private prayer list and pray for individuals who have facial pain and other types of nerve pain. I call each name aloud. With today being the National Day of Prayer, I wanted to focus the day praying for everyone who has face pain, including people whose names I don't know, whose voices I've never heard, and whose emails I have not read.

My day began with prayer, and I felt uplifted and grateful. Then as the day continued, other things commanded my attention. I've had a week full of medical appointments and trips to the pharmacy. A drugstore in my community closed, and the one I use is bursting with business. The good news, however, is that I have a "no co-pay" card for a prescription.

When the cashier told me that "no co-pay" means that I'm responsible for more than $250.00, I became anxious. She continued to check my options, and I began to pray. But this time I prayed for me. I asked the Lord to remind me how small the current issue really is compared to trigeminal or glossopharyngeal neuralgia. With my car in park and a foot on the brake, I closed my eyes and recalled the pain. I remembered that I am blessed. And if you are someone who is suffering, I remembered you.

Hope is the first step to recovery. If your hope is gone and you would like me to call your name when I pray, please contact me via email.

I am thankful to live in a country that allows us to pray. 

Have you visited my website?

Pain, prayers, and peace

I'll be signing off for the Holidays, at least until after Christmas. Before I go, I'd like to say Merry Christmas to my friends, the ones I've met, and the ones I haven't.

It isn't easy to have trigeminal or glossopharyngeal neuralgia and have peace. The pain threatens to steal our lives. Sometimes it feels as though our sanity will be the next thing to go. When I was suffering, I found peace in Jesus Christ. His peace was present in the midst of the most terrible pain. I prayed, finding solace in Him. I grew to understand I wasn't alone in my suffering.

If you are experiencing facial pain, I'd like to encourage you to tap into your faith. Take a chance. Dare to believe that Jesus is real and that He cares about you. Take s step of faith and trust that your health will improve.

I can't think of anyone who needs the thrill of hope more than someone who has trigeminal or glossopharyngeal neuralgia. My prayer is that you will be full of peace this Christmas.

 O Holy Night

O holy night, the stars are brightly shining;
It is the night of the dear Savior's birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope, the weary soul rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices.

O night divine, O night when Christ was born.

O night, O holy night, O night divine!

 

 

Have you visited my website?

Computers: do they make your pain worse?

The lack of a definitive diagnosis can be almost as frustrating as pain itself. How can one move forward with treatment if he or she doesn't know the root of the problem? Individuals who have facial pain often have neck pain, shoulder pain, jaw pain, or back pain.

Medical intervention is appropriate to determine a diagnosis.

People often ask me about the pain I've experienced. I have learned about pain from your experiences, my experience, and academic information. I'm no physician, but I can tell you some things that have reduced discomfort through my neck and sternocleidomastoid (scm) area. Here is one of many diagrams of the a diagrams of the scm available on the Internet: The SCM.  If you are looking for a case study, plenty are available. You may want to read this: A case study of sternocleidomastoid syndrome.

Several years ago when I returned to the workforce, I spent most of my day working on a computer and talking on the phone. I loved what I was doing, but pain hit me full force. It was debilitating. When my doctor sent me for physical therapy, I was blessed to have a therapist who used Kinesio tape. She had advanced training with Kinesio, and I was amazed that she could place a piece of tape in my scm area and give me relief from computer strain. If you're interested in Kinesio tape, you can find more information here: Kinesio tape . Be sure to find a qualified medical professional who has expertise with this tool if you think you would like to pursue this avenue of medical care.

Another thing that helped me and still helps me with muscle pain is medication. I take a muscle relaxer as prescribed by my neurologist. It helps me with pain caused by my jaw and pain that radiates from my cervical area.

A change in ergonomics has also helped me. I stopped sitting a computer desk. This isn't an option for everyone, but it has benefited me. I use my notebook computer, and I type from my recliner.  Years ago, my husband voiced his desire for one of these chairs, but they did not appeal to my design aesthetic.  My upper cervical chiropractor told me he thought I would benefit from the neck support. He was right! I bought an inexpensive recliner, and what wonderful support it provides. My office, which once was an entire room, is now a chair. I have a wireless printer, so I am not tied to a desk. I don't use a mouse any more, and that seems to help also.

One more thing that benefits me is having a bed that "feels good." That means different things for different people. For me, it means A Stearns and Foster mattress, an "upgraded" model.  Pain is expensive, but relief is worth it. That's my opinion. I hope you find relief. God bless you.

Have you visited my website? http://www.withgreatmercy.com/

Trigeminal neuralgia, face pain, and emotions

As someone who has counseled people with facial pain, I understand that it is not uncommon for someone's emotions to reach a nadir. It doesn't matter if it's my pain or the pain that belongs to someone else. So I am always concerned when I hear that someone with facial pain has emotional issues. Of course we do. What others take for granted in every day life has been taken from us, and no one seems to understand the intensity of the pain. Except the people who have it...

I wish that I could explain to the world what it is like to be unable to communicate orally with others and to not know sign language. E-mails and text messages have been some of my best friends, but not everyone has email or text-messaging. Fax machines are temperamental. Just like fax machines, sometimes we humans with facial pain can communicate orally but other times we cannot. We aren't dependable, regardless of how much we would like to be.

Pain of any type can bear on our emotions. Face pain can cause a person to have bad breath and poor dental hygiene (no brushing for days on end sometimes), robs a person of the ability to share a kiss, and going out to eat is just unthinkable. When people experience this much isolation, pain, and disability... well he or she just may get emotional.

Why some people think that the emotional issues cause the pain, I'll never know. Perhaps it's because they have never experienced disability. I've always thought that the world would be a more compassionate place if people could experience trigeminal neuralgia or other types of face pain - just for a day.

Several types of medical issues cause face pain. It could be trigeminal neuralgia, myofascial pain, neuropathic pain, or a jaw problem. These things travel along the trigeminal pathway, and they have a life of their own. We don't know when the pain will come or go. We just know that we are out of commission until it settles down.


If you get emotional because of facial pain, let me reassure you that it's normal. Take good care of yourself. If you are able to talk, you may want to see a counselor. But you may not be able to talk...

God bless you.

Cold weather and trigeminal neuralgia

As cold weather blasts through many parts of the country, my friends with trigeminal neuralgia are having episodes of facial pain. My prayers are with everyone who is currently having this experience.

I remember last year at this time. I was hearing from so many people whose pain had been triggered by the cold weather. In fact, three months of cold weather had left many people both exasperated and exhausted. Because I know first-hand the excruciating pain of trigeminal neuralgia and glossopharyngeal neuralgia, I have great empathy for anyone who is suffering with these disabilities.

Last year I was working for TNA, The Facial Pain Association when the cold weather blanketed the country. To communicate with so many people who had facial pain was very humbling. If you talked to me or emailed me during that time, please know that your story – your plight – touched me. I may not know your name, your face, or even your voice, but I know your struggle.

The severity of this pain can transcend the physical body and permeate the human spirit. It can cause a person to lose hope, to feel alone, and to wonder how he or she can keep going.

Last year I was experiencing excruciating pain of my own. I had nerve pain in my face, but it was caused by my jaws. What triggered it the most was talking, and talking was part of my job. I don’t talk so much these days, and I am experiencing a season of quietness. The quiet is like a good night, soft and comforting. It leaves me feeling rested and refreshed.

Don’t neglect your spirit while you weather the storm. My prayer is that everyone with facial pain will find relief from the pain and will be rejuvenated. I found strength when I searched the Bible for a way to cope with the pain.

To those of you who are reading With Great Mercy, I hope you will be blessed.

Thrill of Hope

It's been a while since I have entered something in my blog, but I will be back. It's been good to take a break.

I want to wish everyone a wonderful Christmas. To those with face pain, TMJ pain, glossopharyngeal neuralgia or trigeminal neuralgia: cling to hope. Don't give up.

Thank You, Jesus, for all You have done for me.

O Holy Night
John Sullivan Dwight

O holy night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of Our dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world In sin and error pining,
'Til He appear'd And the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope The weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks A new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees! O, hear the angels' voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born;
O night divine, O night, O night Divine.