Night terrors and trigeminal neuralgia: a spiritual approach to fear

If one has trigeminal neuralgia, terror can rule the night. I was married when I had pain so horrific that my spouse sometimes awakened me, explaining that he could not sleep because I was screaming. I was amazed by the fact that I could slumber in spite of my physical distress.

I am aware that I am not the only one who has slept through his or her nocturnal pain, but I do not know who shares this experience. When I began my internship for TNA, The Facial Pain Association, I heard that Dr. Joanna M. Zakrzewska would be studying this phenomenon. Although I got an email from her regarding the proposed research topic, I did not hear more about it. I was comforted, however, by knowing I was not the only person with this bizarre story.

Knowing we are not alone in our suffering is part of the validation process. I have taken many calls from individuals who felt they had to explain the pain to me. When they discovered that I had also endured it, I would always hear a sigh of relief. The caller could move onto the questions he or she had for me with assurance that I "got it."

When night falls and people who have TN try to sleep, pain and fear can heighten. One reason is that trigeminal neuralgia, glossopharyngeal neuralgia, and other types of neuropathic facial issues, often get worse when an individual lies down. Also when we are not distracted by the business of the day, pain comes to the forefront of our consciousness. In a future post, I will feature a guest who will address these issues further.

In the night our mind, spirit, and body connection seems to increase. Consider the dreams you have had on occasion, how they revealed your unspoken desires, your deepest fears.

Fear is the enemy of anyone who has trigeminal neuralgia. We are frightened by the electrocution-type pains and wonder how we can endure more of them. After all, anyone who knows that he or she will get struck by lightening in the future has a right to be afraid.

We cannot control the pain, but we can try to reign in the trepidation. How we benefit from the mind, spirit, and body connection? By saying a prayer, we involve all three aspects of our being. Will you read this prayer with me? It is the 23^rd Psalm.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord Forever.

By reading the prayer, we use both mind and body even if we read silently. And if saying the 23^rd Psalm is done in hopes of having a better night, an individual has employed faith. Prayer could a be the vehicle that helps you begin to mend. 

Faith is like a muscle. If we do not use it, it shrinks to nothing. Pump up! Believe you can get better. 

When a road ends

Trigeminal and glossopharyngeal neuralgias can obstruct love. Like most roadblocks, the obstacles present challenges for those trying to navigate around them.

If you are reading this, then you have probably experienced many of them: physical distress upon being kissed; feeling rejected because your partner does not understand the intensity of your pain; and having plain old bad breath because it hurts to brush your teeth. These are just a few effects of some cranial nerve disorders.

My marriage almost fell apart when I was ill. How frightening it was, the thought of losing my health insurance and the stress of enduring a divorce. There were times I wanted to buy an AirStream trailer and hit the road, an illogical notion because most of the time I was not able to drive. How desperately I wanted to escape.

My ex-husband did not leave me, never asked for a divorce. I thank God for sparing me from that situation. But my spouse withdrew, and I never got him back. Meanwhile, I changed and became much different from the woman he had recently married. The onset of trigeminal neuralgia came a mere two and half years after we said “I do.”

One thing I can honestly say is this: I feel certain the marriage would not have survived even if I had remained healthy. That is the most important thing I have to share with you.

Like anyone who experiences a divorce, I noticed that some of my friends disappeared into thin air. I was not surprised. Watching a marriage end, especially when one partner has a history of facial pain, can strike fear in the hearts of others who share the same disability. I understand this, and it is why I feel it may be beneficial to offer an explanation.

Illness does not destroy a marriage, just as roadblocks do not destroy a street. Sickness increases pre-existing marital stress.

On any extended road trip, detours are likely to occur. We may hit potholes as we try to find our way back to a more suitable route. As long as two people stay in the same vehicle, they stay on the same path. Staying together can be accomplished if they refuse to lose sight of each other.

Love is stronger than pain. I still believe it.

Trigeminal neuralgia: the Valley of the Shadow

Many of us have heard, read, or prayed the 23rd Psalm. The passage is often comforting to people who are struggling with pain or illness. Here's the part I like best, from verse four:  

  

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me.

When I experienced the electrifying pain of trigeminal neuralgia, I prayed to die. And this portion of the verse had new meaning for me. I was in the shadow of death, I reasoned, because I wanted to die. Yet the pain held no sting of death, and I felt trapped. I was alive but could not live with the pain. It was the darkest valley I've known.

The "shadow of death" lurked while I wanted to die and could not.


It's not unusual for people who have trigeminal neuralgia to think about dying. They want relief from the pain, a pain so overwhelming it doesn't seem that another second of it can be tolerated. I lived in fear, fear of the pain.

People who have not experienced trigeminal neuralgia often notice that someone who has TN is depressed. Sometimes onlookers think the depression has caused the pain, but people who have TN know differently. It's the pain and the hopelessness that causes the sorrow.


Let's examine the second part of the quotation. I will fear no evil. It takes guts to have such tremendous pain, to stare it in the face and refuse to fear it. But we can do it. For thou art with me. We don't walk through our valleys alone, and in this we have our hope.

We cannot get better without hope, and if we are afraid, hope eludes us. Let's believe. Together and with the hope of our Lord, we can face fear and cling to hope.

Have you experienced fear or depression along with your pain? I'd love to hear from you.

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