Making Mother's Day special for someone who experiences facial pain

Celebrating Mother's Day with a mom who has trigeminal neuralgia or neuropathic facial pain can be complicated. But I remember a wonderful Mother's Day that occurred when I was ill. It was fabulous in spite of the pain, my inability to chew, and the fact that I was experiencing extreme social isolation.

My daughter and her husband came to my home. I didn't have to concern myself with facing the world, about applying cosmetics, or accomplishing oral hygiene. Dan, my son-in-law, brought food with him and prepared a meal for me. At the time I had not developed an allergy to eggs, and he brought "Pour a Quiche," which he baked in my oven. No chewing was necessary because I avoided the crust. I cannot remember the side dishes or the dessert, but I recall the meal was delicious.

After brunch, the family and I settled into the living room and watched a movie. I fell asleep while they were here, comforted by their presence. Comfort may be the best gift someone can give a mother who is experiencing unrelenting pain. It might mean letting go of a traditional Mother's Day and designing one to suit a mother's needs.

Simple things can be most important to someone who has lost much. If you would like to prepare a meal for a special lady you can find some "no-chew" recipes if you go up to the Google search bar at the top of this page.

Giving Mom a reprieve from social isolation is another way to bring comfort to her life. Although she may not be able to talk much, she can listen. You might want to read to her, a favorite poem, a passage from the Bible, or a written memory of a special moment you've shared.

Because people who have trigeminal neuralgia often depend greatly on their computers and the Internet, you may want to ask Mom if hers is in good working order. If not, taking care of maintenance is an excellent gift.

Most of all, don't underrate the power of touch. She'll like it if you gently squeeze her hand. If she has a side of her face that doesn't have pain, you can place your cheek next to hers. Many people who have trigeminal neuralgia crave touch, but they fear being touched in a manner that evokes pain. Quiet comfort is best. Too much noise, whether it's loud conversation, music, or television can create further neurological distress.

Invest time into finding the best card you can. It will linger long after your visit, giving Mom a reminder of your visit.

I'll always remember the tough years and how my family made the day special, tailored to my needs. My mother made the day about me, forfeiting her own desires. I love you, Mama.


Love is stronger than pain.

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Healing and Prayer

A good friend of mine recently sent me a book that I've enjoyed reading. I don't agree with everything the author says, but that's o.k. Maybe he's right; maybe I'm right. Maybe neither one of us are right. Overall, I think he has some really valid points.

One of the things he mentions is how in some Christian circles it is a disgrace to have an illness. He's right. Some Christians believe in "divine health." This is a phrase that perplexes me. Our bodies are made of flesh. Doesn't this mean that they are going to break down? Wear and tear, accidents, congenital issues, and so many other things cause sickness.

Not everyone believes that God still heals us today, but I do. I have experienced His healing, and I am so thankful for His mercies. I don't know why God has healed me and not some others. Do I think that faith is an element of healing? Yes, but so many people have been told that they are not healed because they lack faith. How discouraging for someone who is already suffering. This tactic is a form of "blaming the victim." I don't consider people with disabilities to be victims, but the mentality of the accuser is the same. We just aren't going to get through life without sorrow, loss, and pain.

Other people believe that "praying harder" does not move the Lord to heal, only that He heals when He chooses. Of course I believe that God is sovereign, but I also believe that He hears our prayers. If we believe James 5:16, that the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective, then why wouldn't God hear our prayers for healing?

I offer up my opinion about healing in a world where so many have spoken their opinions on this topic. In fact, most of us are familiar with the tactic of asking people who have an illness to make a donation if they want to have a prayer answered. They want our "seeds" of faith.

Because I am no expert on the topic of healing, I don't want to say too much here. I hope I can reassure those who have been treated like second class Christians because of illness or disability that they have been unjustly accused. I want to encourage you to have faith in Jesus, who healed people because it is His nature. He understands pain.

Don't give up. The Lord hears our prayers.