How you can help, even while you are suffering

Do you believe that your suffering might help someone else? I did, back when I was really ill with trigeminal neuralgia, I was convinced that my experience with pain would help others. I was right about that, but I was wrong to think I had to get well to be of assistance.
Back then, Facebook and Twitter did not exist. The Trigeminal Neuralgia Association had a skeleton website with very few features. Most of the time, I couldn’t talk, so there was no way I could call. I had no idea that one day I would become the director of patient services for this organization, which is now known as TNA, the Facial Pain Association.
Because of the Internet, living with pain has changed. We have groups on social media where we can post our thoughts to be read by the masses. Sometimes we meet someone with whom we click, forming bonds with a friend we have never met. These bonds become exceptionally important, and without knowing it, we might be someone’s temporary lifeline. Here are some things we can do to encourage others, even when we are still in pain.
Check in often with your friends. A direct message or a tag helps, simply asking how the individual is. It might be something like my pain is a level five today. How is yours?
Write about hope. You don’t need to write something original. Quotations and scriptures are quite helpful. The Psalms have an abundance of helpful verses. Philosophers from around the world have offered their wisdom. It’s okay to do an Internet search for a quotation about hope or healing.
Post about remedies that help you. We know about how differently we all respond to treatments, how what works for one doesn’t work for another person. So, if something helps you, please share it with others.
Provide updates when you feel better. If you have reached out on a really bad day, put a note on the original post when you are doing better. It lets a new reader know that you got through that episode of pain.
Be kind to everyone. Pain, medication, and disability can make each one of us sensitive. Tread lightly when disagreeing.
Let someone know you are going to say a prayer for him or her. It doesn’t have to sound fancy. Just ask the good Lord to help that individual.
Send something. If you have the person’s email address, a card with good wishes is helpful. Complimentary copies of With Great Mercy are available. Contact Kathy if you would like her to mail one.

Until mid-February, some time had passed since I received an email from someone who has read With Great Mercy, someone I don’t know. As readers, we have no way of knowing what is happening in the lives of writers. It is always good to know that we have helped, inspired, or entertained someone, depending on the nature of our subject. Although I have been writing fiction for a while, I still blog about cranial nerve disorders now and then. I stopped suddenly when I realized someone was stealing posts from my blog and refused to stop. My new website has gained some internet attention, so I will post new material on occasion.

This week, I had a grueling dental situation. Anyone who has ever had trigeminal neuralgia, glossopharyngeal neuralgia, geniculate neuralgia, or a horrible case of temporomandibular joint dysfunction, knows that almost anything to do with teeth is frightening. Monday morning a crown fell out of my mouth. It looked weird, and the reason I have this crown is part of my long and harrowing story experience with cranial nerve disorders and dental trauma. Because of my history, I continued to go back to Florida for dental work, after moving to Texas three years ago. I haven’t had cranial nerve pain in years, but I still have an awareness that one must see an excellent dentist to maintain healthy cranial nerves. When Covid-19 hit, the luxury of going to my dentist in Florida no longer existed. My attempt to go to a highly recommended dentist in Cedar Park turned out to be unsuccessful and extremely stressful. Mom stepped in, from Florida, locating a dentist in Austin, Texas, who treat people who have had dental trauma. I took the leap of faith, and I now see Dr. Lina Clendennen in Austin. She is gentle, informed, and patient. She listens. So does the entire staff at Dr. B.J. Meyer’s practice. From Monday through Thursday, I was a bundle of nerves. I prayed, rested, cooked, read, and tried to stay busy, but the uneasiness never left me. Yesterday I had some dental repair work and received a new crown. Although the appointment was lengthy, I left without soreness and had a good day. The day after, which can be tricky, and all is well. I am grateful for Dr. Clendennen’s wonderful ethics, great skills, and patience. We’re all human, presented with new challenges each day. When you read something life-affirming, reach out with an email or a blog comment. You don’t know what the person at the keyboard might be experiencing at that moment. We want to connect with you. That’s why we write. Thanks for every email. Every comment. Every book purchase. If you are out of work and would like a book, please let me know. Email me. Recent Posts Mother’s Day for ladies who have trigeminal neuralgia By faith, we wait Emails, dental work, you, and me Trigeminal neuralgia: How can I get them to understand? Social isolation: we aren’t alone anymore. © Kathy Maresca, 202

We wait. It is a part of life that can be terribly unpleasant. A popular theme, fiction, non-fiction, and plays have wait in their titles. Tom Petty, whose band Mudcrutch played at my high school dances and events, sings about how “The Waiting is the Hardest Part.” He’s right, and I love his song. The scriptures contain plenty of verses about waiting. A favorite comes from Isaiah 40:31. But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. I want to mount up with wings as eagles, but I do not want to wait. I have grown weary. Frustrated. Exasperated. Somewhat confused. This morning I was listening to Jeremy Camp’s song, “Dead Man Walking.” Most of us are familiar with the expression and how it refers to death row, a convicted person walking to his or her appointment with execution. I thought of all the times I begged God to let me die. I wanted to wake in His arms in Heaven, to be relieved of suffering. I had trigeminal neuralgia, and sometimes it was difficult to live through the next minute. I was a dead person living, barely able to walk and not able to talk. Long after the Lord healed me, I began to experience terrible pain from glossopharyngeal neuralgia. I had learned too much to pray for death. From my previous experience, I knew that God would not leave me in such terrible pain. I saw the present suffering as temporary. I had assurance of God’s love, and I was well acquainted with Hebrews Eleven. Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see, states the chapter’s first verse. It happens to be the following verses, however, that fill me with faith. By faith, Noah built an ark and saved his family and himself from the great flood. By faith, Abraham, whose body was as good as dead, had a child with his aging wife, Sarah. Abraham became the father of the world’s largest nations. By faith, Abraham offered his son as a sacrifice, and the Lord honored his obedience by providing an alternative. By faith, Moses’ mother hid him, and he became part of the Pharaoh’s family. By faith, Moses led the Jews of out of Egypt’s bondage. By faith, the wall of Jericho fell, and the Lord’s people gained control of the city. Kingdoms have been conquered and the mouths of lions have been shut by faith. We recover by faith. We win by faith. Sometimes all we can do is thank God for an answer that hasn’t come yet, by faith. Whatever you and I need today might require waiting. Perhaps we will be used and abused in the process. I feel weary, and you might, too. But by faith, we are more than conquerors. By faith, we ask for more strength. By faith, we walk, not to death but to life.