Trigeminal and glossopharyngeal neuralgias can obstruct
love. Like most roadblocks, the obstacles present challenges for those trying
to navigate around them.
If you are reading this, then you have probably experienced
many of them: physical distress upon being kissed; feeling rejected because
your partner does not understand the intensity of your pain; and having plain old bad
breath because it hurts to brush your teeth. These are just a few effects of some cranial nerve disorders.
My marriage almost fell apart when I was ill. How
frightening it was, the thought of losing my health insurance and the stress of
enduring a divorce. There were times I wanted to buy an AirStream trailer and
hit the road, an illogical notion because most of the time I was not able to
drive. How desperately I wanted to escape.
My ex-husband did not leave me, never asked for a divorce. I
thank God for sparing me from that situation. But my spouse withdrew, and I
never got him back. Meanwhile, I changed and became much different from the
woman he had recently married. The onset of trigeminal
neuralgia came a mere two and half years after we said “I do.”
One thing I can honestly say is this: I feel certain the marriage would not have survived even if I had remained
healthy. That is the most important thing I have to share with you.
Like anyone who experiences a divorce, I noticed that some of my friends
disappeared into thin air. I was not surprised. Watching a marriage end, especially
when one partner has a history of facial pain, can strike fear in the hearts of
others who share the same disability. I understand this, and it is why I feel
it may be beneficial to offer an explanation.
Illness does not destroy a marriage, just as roadblocks do
not destroy a street. Sickness increases pre-existing marital stress.
On any extended road trip, detours are likely to occur. We
may hit potholes as we try to find our way back to a more suitable route. As
long as two people stay in the same vehicle, they stay on the same path.
Staying together can be accomplished if they refuse to lose sight of each
other.
Love is stronger than pain. I still believe it.
